[Does surviving death count if you were technically dead from the very beginning?]
The #1 reason that I’m going to elope is because I don’t want any extended family members at my wedding since I refuse to deal with the hassle and drama that will undoubtedly ensue.
I also don’t want to wear anything full-length, Indian or western, because I will definitely trip and even if I don’t, I’ll be super uncomfortable the entire time.
In a season 5 episode of Friends, Monica and Chandler go away together for the first time and they fight, so when they come back, he assumes they're broken up and she looks at him like he's crazy and goes, "People fight sometimes Chandler; they address it, and they move on."
Relatedly, something just clicked in my head.
Not that I’m not already interpersonally difficult™️, but I’d be absolutely insufferable if I was born and raised a white man.
While I was getting my nails done today, I listened to the Fated Mates episode about Diana Quincy’s Her Night with the Duke, and it just really made something click in my head.
In the episode, Jen points out that Hunt, like most men especially in that era, was conditioned to believe that feelings are inherently reckless and he has keep them under lock and key no matter what or everything will combust, so he’s naturally extremely avoidant while Leela is very open and direct, and demands that he have the difficult conversations, which of course puts them in conflict.
The beautiful thing is, just because Leela and Hunt get together at the end of the novel, it doesn’t mean that this issue suddenly disappears. When he’s declaring his love for her, he’s also telling her, “For the rest of our lives, I’m going to freak out when faced with strong emotions, I’m going to run away, but I’m going to run back to you. Will you accept and love me knowing that?” And she says yes.
I guess that’s why I believe that conflict languages are much more important than love languages or attachment styles or whatever else is the current relationship trend on TikTok. You need to know that you can handle your partner when things go south.
You can’t bring about divine absolution through justification. God doesn’t care if you think that your bad behavior was justified; I would know as a devout atheist.
In other words, if A does X, and B thinks X is bad, A isn’t going to shamed into remorse for doing X if they don’t think X is bad.
I’m a right-coded left-winger in that I’m rational-skeptic to a fault, and very into the “facts don’t care about feelings” brand of rhetorical thinking, which is right-coded but also very male-coded.
I’m a young woman (of color) who is very heterodox from those around me on certain issues, and I will not share what those issues are, but believe me when I say my statement is true.
I’m very direct and fixated on bringing forth and explicitly stating the truth, regardless of the potential for tactlessness, but I’m also a complete institutionalist, and most who are in former category are not the latter.
Lastly, the way men who I’ve never spoken to 1-1 speak to me sometimes really unnerves me! I literally did not ask for this, and I’ve never spoken to this man before, but I guess that’s what I get for being a woman on the Internet.
Well-written like always. Also, I can't help but be reminded of an Internet Thing that happened a while back when you discussed being Right-Coded---there was a white woman that was posing for fun during the Fall and, of course, people had to be stupid about it. They were making fun of them for being Peak Basic or whatever.
They even had the gall to ask her if she was a Trump supporter. The lady was honestly a better person than me. Because she laughed off all the jokes at her and stated that she was liberal.
Honestly, it's interesting to me that cis straight white men complain about being seen as bad guys for being, according to them, cis straight white men. They should try to posing as white women minding their business for a day.